Uchiha Pride
by Articulated
Summary: Sasuke's spent half of his life with one goal in mind; Revenge. Will he or will he not attempt to achieve his goal?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer; I obviously own nothing or I wouldn't be writing stories like this on FF. **

This story will probably be slow moving, and I won't be updated on any sort of set schedule as of now. Hopefully you enjoy it as I write it - I appreciate any type of reviews as long as you can manage to be respectful.

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I can't remember the last time I felt like my life held actual importance. It had become a daily routine of nothing but throwing myself into training for as long as I care to remember; since that night that has been burned so thoroughly into my mind. Frowning at nothing, I pounded my fist against the tree again. Thinking about importance, it was useless. I had only one goal in life, to find that peace of mind that's been so far out of reach for so many years. I've spent over half of my life in a spinning, tangled web of anger, hate and pain. It's increased the naturally off the charts strength I already possessed, as is my birth right. It increased the power behind every hit, and the determination to push through everything, to survive if only to achieve my only goal.

I know what they say behind their hands about me, about my story, my history, my clan. I know what they must all think about me, how sometimes they shy away from me. And I don't blame them, in fact I feel nothing for them at all. They aren't worth my worries, and so most of the time I don't even notice them anymore. I've grown so accustom to being alone, I sometimes don't even realize when I'm surrounded by people. I'd once been a sad pathetic child, crying over something I couldn't change. I'd be uselessly wasting my life and my effort, loving someone who had no heart, no soul. Trusting the one person who had betrayed me, but I no longer trusted anyone but myself. I'd forgotten for a few moments that I was a ninja in training, I was learning – But I hadn't learned enough, I wasn't strong enough, I hadn't progressed far enough. Not like him, in my silent moments of weakness I'd question if I would ever be strong enough to defeat him, would I ever possess the anger, the hate, the power to finally end the life that stole mine away from me. Such precious eyes, that I'd envied for so long. But now, I possessed those same eyes and I'd work until I could no longer become better. I'd track him down, I would find the what I deserved, the peace with my life.

Until then, I would keep everyone as far away as I could. I wouldn't allow myself to forge a relationship with anyone, I wouldn't allow that creepy hand of feeling to wrap itself around my heart that beat, but felt nothing for the people around me. I'd spent half of my life, turning myself into this machine. Brutalizing my body, expanding my mind, enhancing my strength; I wouldn't allow myself to fail, I wouldn't allow myself to fall. Annoyed at my own thoughts, I stared up at the threatening sky, noticing that it was quickly growing dark and the winds had picked up considerably. Clenching and unclenching my fist, I figured I'd burned off nearly all the chakra I had, it was time to head home for now. "Home," I muttered, like that word had meant anything to me for the past few years. I didn't have a home, a house yes, but not a home. I'd never have a home again, that was taken away from me so long ago. Shaking my head, then brushing the dark strands out of my eyes, I sighed softly. My head was so out of sorts today, I needed quite a few more sessions in control and concentration it seemed.

I ducked back within the gates of the village, sticking to the rooftops as to avoid anyone I may know still lurking through the streets below. I allowed my body the luxury of relaxing, as I retraced the familiar steps towards my apartment. Slipping into my apartment soundlessly, not bothering with the lights, I made my way directly to the bedroom. Slowly removing my gear, and clothing I started to feel just how much my muscles ached. Though it was painful, it was also welcomed. If I wasn't feeling it everynight when I got home, I wasn't pushing myself nearly hard enough. There had been nights I'd barely been able to drag myself from the woods, to my apartment – those were the days I allowed myself to feel a small amount of momentary pride in myself. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I fell back onto my bed, allowing myself to succumb to the welcomed darkness as I faded into a deep and untroubled sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer; I own nothing, obviously. Though, I have changed some events – as you'll notice in this chapter; having to do with Sasuke in the hospital, his fight with Naruto, and the sound ninjas. **

Chapter Two;

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I woke up shuddering, covered in sweat, my hands shaking at my sides. The nightmares were never ending, flashbacks to a past I'd tried so long to forget. Yet still, every moment played over in my head constantly, consuming anything but the hatred I'd felt within me for so long. I'd tried, really tried to give a life without the burning bitterness of revenge tainting the corners, licking at my skin like a burning fire. But it possessed parts of me, took over the lightness that I'd once had – childlike qualities long forgotten, I glared into the lingering darkness around me.

Everything I'd always wanted, always strived to achieve and to be – had crumbled around my world the night my older brother murdered our entire clan. His words from that night ringing in my ears, the visions he'd burned into my head – so much death, so much pain. He'd wanted me to hate him, wanted me to hurt. He hoped I would come after him, using and manipulating me from birth. And it was truly working – I would go after him, when I was strong enough. I could never understand, I still didn't understand. Maybe I never would understand. _Had he ever even cared, truly cared for me at all? _I banished the thought immediately, telling myself the answer truly didn't matter because I didn't care about him at all.

Throwing the covers back and rolling out of bed, quickly dressing for the day before climbing out my apartment window. The streets were empty below me, dawn had barely broken yet. Nearly everyone else in the village were still safely tucked into their beds, unaware of anything else around them. Such open trust for the village they lived in, such trust for the family they lived with – it was sad and pathetic. Shaking my head I headed for the forest just outside the village. Sticking to the shadows, just to be safe. My footsteps faltered slightly as I jumped onto the top of Naruto's apartment building. _Naruto._ He'd always been in my shadows, a never wavering disturbance yet, he'd never let any harm come to me if he could help it.

He'd been shunned and pushed aside, forgotten and alone much longer than I had. But, he still had so much strength and compassion inside of him. He cared for the village, no matter what they'd said or done to him over the years. He cared about Sakura and Kakashi. He even for some stupid reason had gotten it into his head that it was a good idea to care about me. I shook my head, standing there I could almost feel the anger slipping away, my barrier of hate crumbling slowly. He was the one person that had always been able to push through every defense, not bothering to wait for me to let him in – which I wouldn't have – but simply plowing through the walls instead. It was a troubling thing, because no matter how much I would tell myself that there was no one important in my life, I knew it was a lie. I'd been willing to throw away my life for Naruto to get Sakura away, a mere few days ago – When that kid, Gaara, had turned into some kind of monster right before our eyes.

But, I hadn't been strong enough then. Naruto had, he was, always had been much stronger than any of us ever really took the time to realize. He was fueled by the same feelings I was constantly trying to overcome, to push away, because I would eventually be able to attack my own comrade. "_You must kill your best friend…" _the thoughts came tumbling back, at a force that nearly knocked me off my feet. Itachi had possibly been right, would I be able to hate enough, ever? Could I ever kill Naruto, not because of lack of power, but because of the bond we'd created – even through all the pain, and anger, and annoyance with each other. We had created a bond, and I wasn't sure it was one I could force myself to break.

Biting the inside of my mouth, I forced the thoughts away. Lies! I had to be strong enough, I had to do this – It was the only way to find peace again, the only way to know I'd be able to live my life, breathe again. Maybe it was already too late for that, but I had to try anyways. Forcing myself away from the roof, I continued at a slower pace towards the woods. Dropping onto the first tree branch just outside of town, I collapsed against the trunk, my body shaking uncontrollably. Memories I've made with Naruto plaguing my mind, blasting their way through my mind, controlling my thoughts. I felt that all telling pain in the back of my throat, burning and aching, as my eyes began to sting with unspent tears. I'd never understood how deeply our bond had grown, not allowing myself to truly feel any part of it.

There had been times since we'd been placed onto Kakashi's team that Naruto's words and actions have surprised me beyond anything I could ever imagine. He'd taken hits for me, thrown his own life into danger to protect me and our comrades no matter who it was. He had admitted things about his own anguish, how much he's suffered since the very beginning of his life. The anger and hate that sometimes burns so deeply, so quickly within his body. But he'd never truly aimed all that power in my direction, he's never attempted to really cause me any injury.

"Uchiha?" I heard a lazy voice beneath me, dragging my head to the side I could faintly make out the figure of Shikamaru Nara below me. _Just great,_ he was probably one of the last people I'd want to find me here, especially with my mind in the state its been in lately. We weren't really friends not that I considered anyone my friend really, in reality I don't think either of us really even cared for one another all that much. Not that I had a grudge against the guy, he seemed intelligent enough, a strong shinobi also. We just didn't run in the same circles, I suppose you could say. More like – he had his friends, his family, and was surrounded all throughout his life with care, compassionate and affection. He didn't hold the same pains inside himself, that had led me unfortunately form a tentative bond with Naruto, and even Kakashi. A bond I really shouldn't have allowed myself to get involved in, it could only cause more problems for what I wanted to achieve. But I was just so tired; all the hate, pain and anger were all so draining on my entire body - mind, body and soul. My heart ached just thinking about the look that would flash in my team's eyes if I was to truly betrayed them, attacking them viciously I didn't know if I had it in me. I didn't know if I wanted to do it really, was I going to follow in my brother's footsteps. My father's voice entered into my mind telling me not to follow my big brother's path. Shaking my head, I refocused my attention on Shikamaru.

"What do you want?" I asked. Turning my gaze away from him, before suddenly looking back. _Green vest, _so the rumors I'd heard were actually true afterall. He'd been the only genin, to make chunin from what they'd all seen of the exams. It made sense really. Out of everyone that had taken part in the exams, he was one of the only ones I'd myself have guessed to make it through and pass the examination.

"I wouldn't say I particularly want anything in acuality. I was simply on my way out here, to get away. Maybe watch a few clouds. My mother was nagging, like always. Troublesome woman." His voice was deep, and even. It never seemed to rise or fall, no matter what position he was in. I'd rarely ever heard his voice waver in the slightest, it really was an annoyance for someone to be so tactical and apathetic constantly. Lifting my head towards the sky I realized that it was light outside already, and there were a number of clouds floating across the open blue sky.

"You come into the forest, to watch the clouds? Don't the trees get in your way?" Why was I even asking, it's not like I really cared. Why bother with small talk, I had more important things to do then chat with a guy I barely knew nor cared about.

"Most people know my old place that I used to watch them. Therefore defeating the entire purpose of being there at all. I watch the clouds to get away from it all, you know?" Shikamaru slide down against the tree, leaning back and looking up at me, before turning his head slightly to look up at the clouds over head. He sighed deeply, like it was such hard work to talk so much. And to him it probably felt like it, he was a very lazy guy. Smirking, I shook my head and looked up at the clouds. Allowing the tranquil silence to relax me thoroughly, I could feel my mind clearing and all my worries momentarily slipping away.

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer; I own nothing, just like all the other chapters. Yadda yadda yadda. **

Chapter Three;

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I was surprised to find that I'd actually dosed off, laying against the tree staring up at the rolling clouds. Amazed at how relaxed I felt, I couldn't even quite place the feelings swimming through my body at this exact moment. I can't remember the last time I felt this at peace, this relaxed, this unrushed. Even as a child, before the loss of my entire clan – I never felt this relaxed. I was always attempting to live up to my father's high standards, the standards my brother had set. Standards that were impossible for just an average, normal Uchiha boy. And that's what I had been, what I still was. I wasn't some overpowered ninja, some child prodigy like my brother was. There was no way I was going to ever live up to those standards, no matter how long I trained, how hard I pushed, how much I learned – There was just no way.

It's a depressing though, thinking about it now. Was my life really fulfilling, even before the death of my family? Would I be any different if they'd stuck around. I pushed myself to achieve those standards, just the same as if they had been there. The only thing different was the feelings I put behind all my hard work. I wanted revenge now. Back then, I just wanted someone to notice me. Well, they were noticing me now weren't they. Noticing me, all but the one person I always really wanted to notice – Itachi, my big brother. It's painful to think that I had never meant much to him, not worth his time or effort.

"You seem to be deep in thought," I nearly fell from the tree at the sound of the voice beneath me, I'd entirely forgotten he has been there. I'd let my guard down, been unaware of my surroundings. I sat up suddenly, _what the hell is wrong with me._ There was nothing I wanted to say to him, so I decided instead to stay silent. "I know we aren't friends. It'd be a joke to even think how the two of us could ever get along. But, I like Naruto, the damn kid grows on you really and you just can't shake him off. And Kakashi has always been a stand up guy. Anyone with eyes could see how in love with you Sakura is, and it even causes me a little pain to see the look she gets in her eyes sometimes."

"Is there something you're trying to say, Shikamaru?" I could almost feel the heat from his gaze now, like a penetrating force. I had to force myself not to look down at him, decipher the look that would be in those bottomless brown eyes. I shook my head; how did I even know he had brown eyes.

"They care about you, you know. Whether you want to admit it to yourself, or to anyone else. I know you care about them too. Naruto told me what happened out with those Sand genin. Told me some things about what you had said, how you'd talked about not wanting to lose things important to you all over again. So, I guess all I'm trying to say is. If you don't want to lose what is important to you now, then you should think how running away is going to affect all that." I felt my heart beating a little faster, forcing myself to forget everything he was saying as the words were spilling from his usually silent mouth. He wasn't a shy kid, but he never seemed to speak unless it was worth it. One thing everyone knew about Shikamaru was that he was a lazy guy, never wanted to put more effort forward than he really had to. "You think revenge will bring you peace in this life. We're all surrounded my loss, death, pain and suffering. Constantly shinobi are losing their lives to protect a village, protect people they sometimes barely know. Risking our lives is part of the package deal. But hate, revenge, anger – it does nothing but cloud your mind."

"You don't know anything about my pain. You don't know anything about my life." I said slowly, my body was tense with emotion. I could feel the rage bubbling, but for once it wasn't at anyone but myself.

"Maybe I don't. I know we've led different lives. You, Naruto, Kakashi – You all have something strong, and painful in common. You know, not having anyone around. Your family leaving you, through death of some sort. I may seem like a guy that doesn't care, and most of the time I don't. But I know what it feels like, to think you might be losing someone you care deeply about to something dark, and dangerous." I found myself intrigued by his soft voice, it was like a carefully orchestrated melody. Everyone single word thought out carefully, then delivered with the right amout of punch. I looked down at him then, he was standing now leaning against the tree trunk, his hands in his pockets and his gaze firmly straight in front of him. I could see the tension across his shoulders, down his arms and back. The small furrow of his brow, and the little shuffling of his feet. All small signs of discomfort.

Sighing to myself, I let myself drop from the tree a few inches in front of him. Turning around, I looked at him. And I could see the turmoil of emotions nearly bursting out of his usually blank eyes. He was a tactical person, intelligent beyond belief. And I found myself for the first time, not jealous of his mental abilities.

"They must have always been a burden to you," I found myself saying outloud, before I could stop myself. His eyes tightened, his face tilting away as if to hide his understanding. "All that ability swarming around in your head. Everyone telling you, there is so much more you could do. Trying to maintain this image, to guard yourself from the cruelty."

"Everyone is bullied about something, it's the way of the world. Children can't help but poke at other children, even if only to hide their own insecurities." He said tightly, his jaw clenching repeatedly. I felt this sharp sense of understanding, and I don't even know why. Like everything was clicking and sliding into place, I could finally wrap my mind around everything that had been plaguing me for so long.

"Light surrounds even the darkest places," I said, tilting my head back to look up at the clouds. I keep feel his gaze snap back towards me. Almost hear that smug smirk slide into place, walls and masks back up. Straight back in place, fidgetting feet put to rest. "So predictable Shikamaru."

"It works to my advantage," He said softly, and I could only nod in agreement. I'm sure it did work very well in his advantage. If you become a predictable being, the second you make even the smallest step outside that predictability range, you've got everyone caught, tied and confused. It's just another thing to prove how tactically brilliant his mind truly is.

"I thought for the longest time, even still parts of me still do think, that revenge is the only cure for the pain, the hate, the anger I feel surrounding, and covering me everyday. I wake up tormented by dreams every morning, something different yet always closely related. Images, screams, blood, pain, death, betrayal. It stings me, to know that I won't ever understand how or why someone could destroy so much of who they are, what they always stood for." I said softly, looking back at him and tilting my head to the side.

"Maybe we aren't meant to understand," He said, crooked smirk in place.

"No, maybe we aren't." I smiled then, feeling light and relaxed. We stood in silence for some time longer, before we both turned towards the gate and began to journey back into town. I knew that I wasn't over leaving entirely, that feeling would always creep back up and attempt to strangle my own free will right out of me. Pushing and pulling me to extract my revenge, become the true avenger I'd always pictured myself as. But there were ties here, holding me strongly and firmly in place for now. "Thank you, Shikamaru."

"Anytime Sasuke."

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**Well, that's the end. Short and to the point. I didn't want it to be about anything but the tought decision of a young boy, with pain in his heart and confusion in his mind. I don't know why I used Shikamaru; except for maybe because he's always been the level headed, even tempered guy that cares just enough about other people. Anyways, reviews are always appreciated. Gets tiresome to know people read, but never say anything. Have a good one, hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit. **


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